Sleepy Times

I try not to read anything in the media about child raising because it only makes me doubt myself. Yesterday as I was holding a sleeping Fiona at 5:30 pm and started reading some parenting magazine (Baby Talk or American Baby or something like that) and there was an article about sleep schedules. It said that between birth and 3 months, kids sleep on their own schedule, but between 3 and 6 months, you should start to put them on a schedule. They should have an "official" bedtime and once they wake up, they should nap every 2 hours throughout the day and should be sleeping through the night. I know that my brother and sister-in-law have their daughter on a sleep schedule and sing its praises - Sophie's bedtime allows them to have some time together alone - just the adults. (and with Dave working nights again recently, some alone time together sure sounds good). And it didn't take long before Sophie was so comfortable with the sleep schedule that if they couldn't put her to bed on time, she would let them know it was time to sleep.

But my daughter still controls her sleep schedule, we have not tried to tamper with it or schedule it for our convenience. She sleeps when she's tired...sort of.

I don't look at my daughter and think, she has Dave's eyes and my nose or whatever. But as she shows us who she is, I think - she gets the hiccups and hates to wake up like her dad and she refuses to go to sleep, even if she's tired, just like her mom.

Fiona is as stubborn with herself as the day is long (another mommy trait). I can't wait to see how that manifests itself in her as she gets older (yes, that may be some sarcasm). In the afternoon, even if she's utterly exhausted, she tries her hardest to stay awake until mom gets home. After a long day of play and trips in the car to various grocery, drug and thrift stores, usually a trip to the dog park and many feedings, during which she may doze for twenty minutes or so, she waits for me to get home, snuggles up to me and pretty promptly passes out. But if I try to put her down or hand her off to someone else to hold while I take care of any essentials, she wakes up, wondering what's going on - as if she might miss something (like me leaving again?).

Even if she falls asleep at 5:30 pm and sleeps in my arms through the evening, when I put her to bed (when I go to bed), she still "sleeps" all night ("waking" a various number of times to feed as she sees fit). It barely wakes me anymore, so it's almost like we get to sleep all night (if only the dog would stop waking me up - I'd be sleeping so much better).

We wake up around 6:15 am and some days she's all smiles, some days she's a little cranky until she opens her eyes and sees me - then I get a big smile (what a great way to start the day). She's awake while I get ready to leave, then I hand her off to Auntie Gae. She's only moderately awake during this time. She won't drift back off to sleep, but it's like she's just staying awake to see me off, then Auntie Gae will give her part of a bottle so she can feed back to sleep for a little while longer (sometimes forty minutes, sometimes an hour and a half - Gae says that if she's sleeping next to or on something that smells like mommy, she'll sleep longer), but once she wakes up after that - she's awake for the day.

It is her schedule and usually I don't think there's anything wrong with it, until I read some darned magazine or see something on the news or whatever and then I wonder if I'm going to regret this decision to let her sleep or not sleep as she wants. Is there research out there that will tell me that she needs to sleep every two hours to develop into a smarter, more secure kid? If there is, would I care? There's probably research out there that would support any kind of parenting a person wants to do. The important thing is that most kids with involved parents grow up okay, no matter how many mistakes are made. These are minor decisions, right?

So for now, I am content with our world, even if it seems that whenever mommy is around, Fiona's eyes are drooping - mommy means food and sleep, but at least it makes her smile when she sees me. I don't know why these magazines keep coming to my house, I didn't subscribe to them and I hope they'll just stop coming soon, so I can stop doubting myself every time I happen to glance at them.